Straight Thoughts On Gay Marriage

I’m not sure what I can add theologically, politically, or socially to today’s gayest topic (pun intended). I am going to be straight with you (another pun intended), much smarter people have already commented, blogged, and vlogged on the topic. Some of my favorites are at the end of the blog. For now, let me give you a couple of my thoughts:

1. God is longsuffering, but not forever. His patience means salvation. Fire isn’t falling from the sky and the world, as we know it hasn’t ended, yet. Take comfort in God’s longsuffering. 2 Peter 3:9 says, The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient  (some translations uses the word ‘longsuffering’) with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” The next verse talks about God’s wrath. It will come and it will be decisive, holy, and just. For now, though, He withholds it and that is a good thing. We should “bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation” for many (2 Peter 3:15).
2.  God’s mission for believers has not changed. We don’t regard people from a worldly perspective, but from a spiritual view. So, our primary question isn’t is he/she LGBTQ. Rather, does he/she have a relationship with the Father based on the forgiving work of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection? We are to be ambassadors of reconciliation, helping people receive forgiveness and more importantly, restoring their proper relationship back to the Father. 2 Corinthians 5:16-21. 
3. America has always been tolerant of sin; we just choose new sins to tolerate. As a country we have always condoned wickedness. Our “original sin” (as described by President Obama in his eulogy for Rev. Clementa Pinckney) was slavery. Much like gay marriage, not only was it tolerated, but also in many circles it was justified using the Bible. How scary is that?! To this day we grapple with hidden and unhidden racism. Yet, some of us have the nerve to say that America has lost her morals. How offensive to my black brothers and sisters (and many other minorities such as Native Americans) who have suffered through America’s “moral period.” Child please. I’m not arguing we are less postChristian today, I’m questioning how “Christian” we’ve ever been as a country. While not condoning gay marriage, I would certainly take it over slavery and racism. 
4. The church needs to think like a missionary. How does the church respond when a person in a gay marriage with children is saved? How do we disciple them in that? Tell them to get divorced and destroy any resemblance of family the children know? I think we better start figuring out how to respond to complex issues. Real problems require real answers. By God’s grace, our churches will need to address these types of problems because that would mean sinners are being saved. This reminds me of a story about a foreign missionary working in a polygamist tribe in which the leader of the tribe was saved. The naive missionary told the tribal leaders it was sinful to have more than one wife. Wanting to be an obedient follower, the tribal leader called for his favorite wife and then ordered all his other wives to be killed. The missionary thankfully talked him out of killing them, but he had to begin dealing with the impact sin had on culture. What’s our answer? I don’t know, but I’m reminded of 2 Peter 1:3-4, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”
5. Urban churches have been dealing with these types of issues for years. This is not a new issue for churches in major cities across North America. I live in Brooklyn, NYC’s most populous borough (2.6 million people) and is often referred to as the Borough of Churches (my best guess is about 1,500 congregations of all types). In my surrounding neighborhoods, though, it seems like at least half the churches are “inclusive” and have a rainbow flag on their sign. Theologically conservative evangelical churches in the city have been dealing with celebrated homosexuality and other sexual sins in their community for decades. There is much the suburban and rural church can learn from us. In fact, the scenario in #4 came to me in the form of a question about seven years ago from a good friend and church planter in Atlanta. For him, it was not a hypothetical exercise, but his church’s reality as they lived out the gospel with sinners who became saved.

As promised, here are some responses from people who are much smarter and more articulate:

• The Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood’s Response
• Ed Stetzer’s Response
• Russell Moore’s Response

Things I've Learned (So Far) Living In Brooklyn

Much of my elementary days were spent growing up and running the streets of “The ‘Nati” (Cincinnati for you non natives) and outside of Cleveland. I also spent a few years of college at the University of Cincinnati (long live Coach Huggins) and I had been going to an urban church plant (blueprintchurch.org) in Atlanta for the past three years. Heck, I've even been part of the REBUILD Network (rebuildnetwork.org) leadership team for the past few years. Not that my urban resume gives me a ton of street cred, but I assumed it would serve me well in leading my family in our new neighborhood of Brooklyn (No Sleep Till …Sorry, I had a junior high Beastie Boys moment). But you know what? You don’t know what you don’t know.

 As a youth pastor I was an expert on anything and everything teenagers. I would not say that I knew it all, but I was probably thinking it. But oh, now as a father of three daughters - two of them teenage GIRLS - hush your mouth former youth pastor Steve. Moving to the city has been kind of like that. I know a lot, but I really didn’t know what I didn’t know.

So with that said, here is Things I’ve Learned (So Far) Living in Brooklyn. Some are NYC specific and others are more general about adjusting to city life.

1. People who lived in NYC during the 1970’s-1980’s need to be respected, not apologized to. Those that lived and survived the city back in the day deserve a badge or something. It was the real deal back then. But as new people move into the city, we do not need to feel like the cause or bare the shame for the changing dynamics of neighborhood. Us newer people, though, should always respect people’s stories and the story of the community, but not feel the need to apologize for moving into their neighborhood. Quick note. Gentrification is a real issue that I will write about frequently. Just not in this post.

2. It’s better to be broke living in the neighborhood you like than nearly broke in a neighborhood you hate. Housing in the city is expensive. Period! Side note…it’s a little odd to spell out “period” and follow it with an exclamation point. You are going to be either broke or nearly broke, so pick a neighborhood, or as we urbanites say, “a hood” and adjust your expectations. Are the size, cleanliness, modern marvels such as dishwashers, and all the other amenities available in that other neighborhood worth the extra train time and expenses to go and hangout in the place you really want?  

3. Everything you could ever imagine is in the city, but good luck getting it. 75% of NYCers live within a 5-minute walk of a grocery store. The problem is that almost every bodega has the product inventory of a medium size food mart at a gas station. Except for organic milk. Every flavor and size imaginable is available. It's crazy. Also, public transportation is hard and time consuming. Much more so than I had imagined. I find myself ordering crazy things on Amazon now. Things like hollow wall anchors, socks, sharpies, t-shirts, etc. If you ever get a birthday present from me (you probably wont…see #2) it will come from Amazon.

4. You can be a New Yorker, but not be from New York. Crazy. Right? It seems like ten years in the city is the minimum amount of time when it is permissible to call yourself a New Yorker. By then the wannabes are weeded out. But, you are never from New York unless, of course, you really are from New York. You can be a 30-year-old man living in New York for 25 years. You are a New Yorker, but you will never be from New York. I’ll always be from Cincinnati. No matter what. The best I can hope to be is a New Yorker from The ‘Nati.

5. Having a dog requires dedication to your furry pal. If you ever want to show me you love me, get up at 6:00 am and take me for a walk in 10 inches of blowing snow when it is 15 degrees outside. Oh yeah, don’t forget to pull out a little plastic bag and pick my poop off the slushy snow covered sidewalk. The neighbors hate it when you leave that mess.

6. You can’t judge a man by the color of his dress. Let’s just say that cities are densely populated with lots of diverse people. If you are going to be intentionally relational with people, you will meet that guy or girl who has a completely different lifestyle than you. Completely. But you know what? Most of them are pretty cool people.

7. There is no place we would rather be. My family loves NYC and all the crazy things that make the city what it is. We love our 1,050 square foot apartment with one bathroom (Yes, you remember correctly, I have three daughters). We love our diverse neighborhood. We love the noises in the streets late at night. We love the honesty of Northeastern city people. We love walking to church, school, and friends’ places. We love the streets smelling like pee. Well, maybe that was too far.

Most of all, though, we love the opportunities to live out and tell the gospel to a community we are falling in love with. Luke 10:2 teaches us the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. I always assumed that was true, it is in the Bible and all. But now I see it everyday when I walk my daughter to school. I feel it when I’m sitting by people on the train. We do not have a harvest problem in NYC (people are open and I have gospel conversations daily), but we do have a problem with the labor force! We need more workers, laborers, for the kingdom. The point is this; I think more people would love doing ministry in the city if they could only know what they don’t know. 

Those Crazy Coke Cans

This just might be the very best use of all of those new Coke cans and plastic bottles with names plastard on the sides of them. This couple wittily, or by complete accident, borrowed from numerous Coca-Cola slogans throughout the years in this little stunt...

     • 1923 - Enjoy Life

     • 1976 - Coke Adds Life

     • 2011 - Life Begins Here

Well played young creative couple. Now stop drinking so much caffeine young lady, you're  pregnant! Uhh-ohh, I hope I didn't ruin the ending. My bad...ENJOY!